5 steps to being socially confident
Being confident isn’t an easy job, I don’t think i’ve ever been fully confident, and even if I have it was probably fake confidence. Because the truth is, confidence doesn’t come from wanting something, or wanting someone to think you are a certain way- it’s from fully accepting yourself and how you are as a person.
From a person who has been through the depths of anxiety, I understand that being confident in social situations will never be easy, because you will always feel like whatever comes out of your mouth could effect how others see you.
I remember when I first told my Dad about my struggles with Anxiety. Baring in mind it wasn’t the right time as he had just come back from a hard day of work and he was tired like hell, he wasn’t exactly comfortable about the idea. Not because he thought the topic was inappropriate or weird, but because he had no idea how to help and advise me.
Anxiety isn’t something a parent has been through before. Back in my dad’s day, anxiety was a word that wasn’t even used. If you felt anxious, you’d get a slap on the back saying ‘ah you’ll be all right’. Skip forward 47 years, and his daughter is going through it.
They are most likely alien to this concept, and that’s probably why they passively joke about it when i’m in the room. Because it’s a topic they can’t relate to; but don’t you think they should listen regardless?
In this post today, i’m giving you some tips on how to be socially confident. These aren’t tips that are supposed to magically transform your life, but i’ve found them to be helpful along the journey, and I hope they help you too.
1.Know that your voice SHOULD be heard
Too many times i’ve not had the courage to speak how I feel, and now I can’t seem to blummin’ stop talking! I think back in secondary I was too afraid to speak my mind due to social judgement, but your voice is something powerful, it’s your own unique sound path and should be used regardless of the cost. If you have something to say, SAY IT!
You Shouldn’t back away from the image people see.
I’m not going to lie, I was quite the weird girl back in secondary school. I hopped around social groups because I didn’t feel like I belonged to a certain one, in fact I wasn’t sure If I belonged to any of them. Most welcomed me, some members didn’t. But I was happy. That’s who I was. I wasn’t a groupie, I was just Meg. If people see a similar image, then that’s great. But if they don’t like the image, the warmth that you are displaying, then that’s on them. I used to think that I had to be like everyone else, but I think being different is a blessing. Because at least you aren’t vanilla.
Welcome discomfort. Allow it, don’t prohibit it.
I used to hate being put on the spot. It really becomes uncomfortable, you feel yourself go beet red, and feel quite sick, which isn’t something you want to welcome. Trust me. But that adrenaline that runs through your veins, treat it as excitement, not anxiety. That EXCITEMENT could be the same put to great use. Take a deep breath, and channel that energy into words. Voice your opinion proudly.
Don’t listen to those who try and discourage you
It’s not secondary school/ college or life even, if someone hasn’t heckled you, or called you out in the odd moment. I don’t think i would have experienced different if I didn’t go to my secondary school. We all go through the bullying stage in life, when someone doesn’t agree with the method you endure in, or the way you dress. I don’t think ‘four eyes’ could sting me as much anymore as it did back then. I learned that those who discourage are normally the ones that feel inferior to you, jealous even.
Act like you want to be treated
It’s easy enough to talk to someone like you want to be talked to, but it’s harder to act in a way that could ‘expose’ you to certain nasty elements. Being bullied has taught me that you should always act in a way that you would to others, this means helping, supporting and being kind to others, as well as being the person you want to be.