My Advice : Don’t let other people’s qualities drown out your unique sound
Lately it feels like I’ve been living a lie . You see , I’ve been surrounded by so many people that have lead me to believe that I was this ‘dorky’ , ‘stupid’ and quite frankly ‘ugly’ character which lead me to believe that I actually was that person . It made me feel like I wasn’t able to break out of that character , like I was always going to be that to them .
Yet, almost a year later , I’ve broken out of my shell .
who knew that by socialising and making new friends that it’d allow me to be the character I’ve always wanted? Answer: Me .
I think in high school you feel more afraid to be yourself , because you can’t express how you feel as freely . First of all : the dress code . Uniforms may exclude us from bullying and protect us from social indifference, but it doesn’t allow us to break out of the box and express ourselves in ways they actually want us to. Second of all : Classroom seating charts . Whilst most teachers and faculty members think it actually allows us to socialise and separates social distance , it actually exposes us to social judgment ; something I picked up on quite quickly . I feel like , if I expressed myself through talking to others around me , it made me suffocate . Well not actually suffocate , but made me feel so pressured . That’s not how someone should feel . Whilst they mean well, they should give us the option .
God there was so many rules in my school . No skirt should be above the knee , No lipstick should be brighter than the sun , no makeup should be darker , no this no that . If we aren’t allowed to express ourselves freely without being chopped down by the social guidelines of our school, then how are we supposed to feel wanted , feel free?
There’s so many social standards that schools allow us to follow , no wonder we feel the need to judge others . That’s all we can do . Be The Judge .
I guess we can never change the rules , as they are strategically placed to ‘reduce’ social distance , although unknowingly they do the opposite . But we can learn from them .
God, in my school there was so many skinny , beautiful girls that there was only one way to feel; indifferent . I’ve always been self conscious about my body , and no matter how many Pilates , yoga and gym visits I go to , i’ll never be one of them .
The pronoun ‘them’ pretty much singles out a certain type of person , a certain type in which most feel separated from due to obvious qualities . It almost feels like a battle . Maybe if I wear a certain type of lipstick they’ll like me ? Maybe if I do this , maybe if I do that- it’s like a constant need to feel wanted and accepted .
I realised last week that after a year of expressing myself and being around other people , that other people’s qualities don’t matter . We all feel the same way , we are all in the same frame of mind . Because we’ve been plunged into independence, plunged away from the controlled environment . We’ve been told that we are accepted , and now we are starting to feel it .
So my advice to you , is to explore your own unique sound, because that is the best gift you could give to society .